To Catch a Wolf
by AvgHoneyBadger
Summary: When Natalie transfers to a new college in Forks, Washington, her mother warns her not to go. There are dark secrets shrouding the little town... dark secrets that Natalie has no business uncovering. A short, sweet, fluffy romance featuring the wolves, and OC.
1. Unrequited

**Author's note:**

Hello, all! This is a short little ditty of exploration with the wolves. What if Jake didn't fall in love with Bella? What if there was someone else? What if the wolves were women, too? So many fun what ifs to explore!

This is an AU with my own character. Bella, Jake, and the Vamps are in college, but the world remains basically the same.

**Chapter 1: Unrequited**

The sound of tires splashing through puddles drifted into the car as Chris, my godfather, and I hurtled along the 101 North. It was storming, of course, but it was always raining in Washington. This constant rain would be a daily part of my life now. Eventually I might miss the sunshine, or hot baked summers of Memphis, but for now I reveled in the novelty.

Hope filled me as I watched the lush greenery flash past the windows. Transferring from the University to Memphis to the smaller college in Forks had been an easier decision than I expected, but the truth of the matter was that I never truly felt at home in Memphis, anyways- like I was constantly looking for something that wasn't there. When Chris came down for a visit with my mother, he mentioned his empty spare room, a homely night on the reservation, an inexpensive college nearby…

I wasted no time with my application. My acceptance letter came even sooner than I could have hoped, and I was packing my bags for the move long before I strictly needed to.

That feeling of looking for things just around every corner disappeared with my decision to transfer. It felt like my life was finally starting, everything was new, anything was possible. No amount of rain could spoil my excitement.

My mother's words chose that moment to float back to me menacingly. We had been standing next to her car outside the airport having just finished unloading my suitcase.

"Do me a favor, Tal?" Her grip on my arm had been painfully tight.

"What?" I had narrowed my eyes suspiciously at her. She never asked for favors unless she was hiding something.

"Keep clear of the rez."

"What?" I repeated, dumbfounded. The rez was one of the main reasons I'd chosen to go to Forks for college. So many of my happy childhood memories were centered on the place. I had no close blood relatives remaining in the area, they'd all left over the generations, moving to different parts of the country. There was a distant cousin or two still living there, but it wouldn't matter; everyone was family on the Quileute reservation.

The sheer closeness of the place, the familiarity I would feel as soon as I crossed the border, there was no way I was going to stay away. Its funny, I never lived there but I always felt more at home among the people on the reservation than I ever did back home.

I shook my head in a meager attempt to dispel the shock I was feeling. There was no mistaking the severity of her request. Her fingers tightened around my arm, pinching the skin aggressively.

"No way," I said, and shook away from her grip. "I can't promise you that."

"Natalie," she caught my arm again. "There are reasons we haven't been back. There are reasons I never wanted you to visit alone…" Her face pinched as she struggled with some unnamable emotion. "Tal… please."

I gently removed her hand from my arm and took a step back. "No, Mom. I won't make that promise. The rez is one of the main reasons I'm going!" She already knew this. We'd talked about it extensively during the wait for my acceptance letter. While she didn't like my retort she accepted it, knowing from long experience how stubborn I could be. I hugged her tightly, then grabbed my suitcase and headed for the security checkpoint inside.

Chris cleared his throat gently, bringing me back to the present. The flora along the highway had become greener as we sped west toward La Push. We were probably only minutes from his house right outside the Quileute reservation. He looked over at me from the driver's seat.

"Starting to regret your decision?" Chris asked curiously. My face must have been showing something I was not aware of.

"Course not. I was just thinking of my mom," I settled back into my seat. "She tried to get me to stay in Memphis."

"Really?" he glanced over then redirected his attention to the road. "Did she say why?"

"No," I let out a small nervous laugh. "But she was furious when I told her which school I chose. It doesn't really make sense." I fell silent as I considered what I'd just said. In hindsight, I should have told him about her warning right then. It could have saved a wealth of confusion. At the time I was still processing it, and I didn't want to spoil the excitement of my arrival.

Chris was a very astute man, and probably heard a lot more in my short silence than I meant to communicate. "I'm not surprised. She hated it here. Couldn't wait to be free of this place. I know it's a small town and all, but it's really not that bad," he shrugged. "We'll see how you like it, I guess," he smiled at me and I smiled back. I had absolutely no worries about loving my new home.

School started the very next morning. Even while happy jitters flitted around in my stomach I found myself terrified. To be in a new place, where I knew absolutely no one, and had no idea where any of my classes were was an extremely uncomfortable experience. As I meandered around the campus looking for the correct buildings I saw plenty of other people also glued to their maps. It was reassuring to see I wasn't the only one struggling in a new environment.

My first day was fairly simple. Almost none of my professors wasted time teaching the material on the first day, electing instead to go over the syllabus and then letting us go. I was eternally grateful for these professors as I was so nervous I doubted I would have held on to any lecture.

The one class that did not simply go over the syllabus was Biology. I walked up to the door and grimaced. It had been a long time since I had taken a science class. I put it off my freshman year, and was now, officially, regretting the decision. This class in particular was the lab portion, which meant I was going to need to sit next to someone and probably talk to them. I have never been good at introductions.

For a moment anxiety over took me and I cursed my lack of judgment in moving to Washington. The rest of the class filed past me as I stood in the hallway waffling. By the time I entered there was only one seat left. It was next to a small, dark haired girl, with very pale skin. She looked like a wraith, as though I could blow her over just by breathing on her. I moved to sit next to her tentatively. She looked as though she were lost in some deep thought, somewhere else very far away. I sat down quietly unloading my books, but kept watching her from the corner of my eye curiously. She was eerily still; it was like she wasn't breathing, as if she was a doll sitting there, and not a person.

Suddenly, she shook herself from her reverie and caught me staring. Instead of introducing herself she turned her attention to the front of the room. I wasn't sure what to make of that, so I followed her lead.

The grad student teaching our lab walked nervously to the front of the room and cleared her throat. Everyone went quiet, patiently waiting for instruction.

"My name is Regina Reed, I'll be your teacher's aid for this lab."

She went on to explain the short syllabus and the general lab rules. Once that was done, she asked us to collaborate with our partners and come up with a list of the logical reasons we would need to follow these rules. I sighed inwardly; this was an obvious ploy for extended time. I wondered why she didn't just dismiss us like the rest of my professors had. Also, I wasn't looking forward to what I knew would be my clumsy attempt at a conversation.

I turned to the girl, anyway, a ready smile on my face. She was already looking at me, curiously, when I glanced up.

"Hi," I said. Her eyes went glassy. "I'm Tal…" I wasn't entirely sure she heard anything I was saying. She looked as though her brain had taken a vacation.

In only a second her eyes came back into focus and she spoke.

"Hi, Tal," she responded, bright and cheerful. Her voice was like a thousand bells. I was struck dumb by the beauty of it. "I'm Alice, it's very nice to meet you."

She finished with a grin of such enormous charm it set me completely at ease. All thoughts of her eerie stillness, and inhuman beauty flew away as we talked and giggled through our list and finally turned it in together at the end of class. I could tell this was the start of a great friendship straight away, so I wasn't remotely surprised that our giggles continued as the weeks passed.

We grew ever closer, eventually spending most of our spare time together. I was even able to meet her family over a lunch or two. All of them sported the same baffling beauty, the same nearly transparent skin, and off-putting stillness. I noticed the same far away look she gave me that first day on many other occasions, but she never told me what it meant, and I never asked. It was clear there was something she wasn't telling me- couldn't, maybe, but either way, it didn't bother me. If it was important she would tell me.

One day as we sat together in the courtyard before class she got one of her starry eyed looks. She fell silent and still as always but this time, a deep crevice creased her brow.

"Oh no…"

I was pretty sure I wasn't meant to hear the soft exclamation. She snapped out of it and looked at me sadly. "What is it?" I asked, alarmed.

"I'm going away," She hung her head. "Oh no."

"Alice, what are you talking about?" She took my hand, her skin was icy but I wasn't surprised, I'd felt it before.

"I'm going away for a while, Tal. I don't know when I'll be back."

"Why? Do you have to?" A stab of regret pierced my chest. At this point, I had a few other acquaintances but I was definitely closest with Alice. I would really miss her if she went.

"Yes," she answered my question. It was rhetorical, and she knew it. "I have to. It's my brother. He needs me."

She and her brother lived in Forks with the rest of the family. That was only 20 miles away. What was she talking about? She saw my confusion and shook her head apologetically.

"I can't explain better than that," another blank look crossed her features, and her hand tightened around mine. When it passed she turned back to me, eyes intense. "Do you remember Bella?"

I nodded. Bella was her best friend, and her brother's girlfriend. I'd met her once or twice in passing, but never had much of a conversation with her. Alice gripped my hand even harder.

"She will need you," Alice stated.

I stared at her blankly. _What?_

"And please don't tell her about this conversation. Just remember that, okay?" She gave my hand a final squeeze, then got up and left me sitting on the bench alone, staring after her retreating back.

I didn't hear from her again, and I missed her terribly.

School, and all my time with Alice, kept me so busy those first couple of months I was never able to visit the reservation. I thought about it every chance I had, but my neglected homework piled up, and weekends found me scrambling to complete my tasks.

Some of Chris's tribe friends would visit occasionally, and every time, they asked why I hadn't visited yet. I resolved to do just that during the winter break.

On my last day of school before break, I pulled my godfather's car into the driveway carefully, only mildly distracted by the big, black truck parked out front. I was borrowing Chris's car until I found one I could afford, and thankfully, he worked from home, so it wasn't an issue. Once the car was safely parked, I took a second to study the new vehicle before going into the house. It was not as large as I originally thought but it had huge off-roading tires, and the frame had been raised just enough to allow room for them. I glanced over it curiously then pushed through the front door and into the house.

The explanation for the truck was sitting happily around the kitchen table snacking on chips and dip.

"Tal!" Chris called from the area around the sink. "How was your last day?" He appeared in the doorway, drying his hands on a dishtowel.

"Good, good," I answered moving to join them in the spacious kitchen. "I think I nailed that last final," I continued and set my bag on the floor by the door, careful not to squish my new laptop before turning to our guests.

"Hi, guys!" I sat down at the table with the two men that were visiting from the rez. Jake and his father Billy visited most often of the group of Chris' old friends. I was always happy to see them as their presence was consistently relaxing, like a warm hug. I was also always happy to see Jake, generally. My stomach made a flip as I studied him.

"You're bigger," I noted.

His eyes glittered mischievously. "Six foot six," he answered smugly.

"Wow!" That made him a full foot taller than me, and probably twice my width. I'm not a small girl by any standards, but Jacob dwarfed me. I guessed he'd probably added another fifteen pounds in muscle since the last time I'd seen him, too. Strange, really. At our age, he should have been well passed his major growth spurts.

"New truck?" I asked, attempting to distract him from the fact that I was staring at him. I tried not to be obvious, but it was a very difficult endeavor. He was gorgeous; his black hair hung well past his shoulders in sheets of silk, and his dark eyes were bottomless and quick- he never missed a detail. The worst part was that I was absolutely convinced he didn't return my affections. He enjoyed me well enough, I was sure, but I didn't believe he could be interested in me the way I liked him.

"Yep, it's for Dad," he inclined his head toward his father.

Billy grinned widely. "I can drive again!"

I lifted my eyebrows at him. "Oh?"

"It's got hand controls," he raised his hands to gesture wildly. I supposed the motions were meant to signify driving, but it just looked like wild gesticulation to me. I smiled with him, it was impossible not to.

"And how does that work?" I asked, just because it made him so happy.

"I'll show you," Jake interjected smoothly. His grin was just as big as his dad's, and equally infectious. The two of them were possibly the happiest people I'd ever met. I renewed my recently made vow to visit La Push as soon as I could.

Jake lifted his eyebrows up and down suggestively, his smile turning more devilish.

I felt a flush spread across my cheeks. "Let me just…" and I made a hasty retreat to my bedroom to put my bag away properly. I was also trying to hide my blush, but no one needed to know that.

"Come on," Jake grabbed my hand when I returned and pulled me out the front door to the truck. He clicked a button in his pocket that caused the black behemoth to beep loudly and the lights to flash.

"Where did you come by this?" I asked, walking around it.

"It was Sam's, actually," he explained. Sam Uley was one of the guys from the reservation.

"He bought it a couple years ago when he was planning on going to school down in Colorado somewhere. Then he just decided not to go…" Jacob's lips turned down at the corners as he said this. "And he sold it to my dad for almost nothing."

"Sam still acting weird?" I asked gently. On Jake's last visit he'd described some odd behaviors in his old friend that left him pensive and worried.

He nodded and pulled open the door to the truck. "Yea, and now Jared and Paul, too. I don't know what's up with them," the corners of his mouth turned down further, and a crease developed in his brow. I fought the urge to smooth it. "But whatever… driving with hands!" He motioned to the steering column.

There was a series of knobs and buttons I'd never seen in a car before riddling the steering wheel. I looked at it, bemused, trying to puzzle out how it could function. It looked incredibly complicated. Jacob grinned proudly.

"We got it installed last week. Great isn't it?"

I nodded and listened attentively when he described how it worked. I loved it when he talked about cars. He was so passionate about mechanics his whole body would enter the conversation; describing small details with his hands, and rocking up on his toes when something was particularly relevant.

"How's the Rabbit?" I asked as we made our way to the porch where a swing hung.

"Coming along," he smiled affectionately as his thoughts turned to the car he was determinedly rebuilding.

He held the swing steady and gripped my arm as I climbed onto the cushions. It rocked gently as I settled into it, but I caught my toes on the ground to stop the motion as Jake joined me. His arm snaked around my shoulders lazily, as we both sighed in contentment. We sat quietly for some time, heads hanging back, eyes shut, comfortably rocking in the breeze. It was so easy to be with him- so uncomplicated. I wished all my dealings with people could be as easily managed as it was with him.

"I'm coming to see you and your car this break," I said after a moment.

He chuckled, "Mmhmm…."

I could tell by his tone that he didn't believe me. "I really am this time. And I have no excuse not to," I grinned and punched him in the shoulder to get him to look at me. "Really, I am. Just tell me when you're free."

"Tomorrow?" He asked. I was leaning over him to peer into his face. He still had his head leaned back with his eyes closed, but he opened them so he could wink at me.

I didn't even think about it before I responded. "Sure, tomorrow then," I returned to my previous posture, head leaned back over his arm. "Say," I began again without moving. "Could you help me find a car?"

"Sure, sure," he replied drowsily. I knew I wasn't going to get another coherent reply from him for the rest of the night.


	2. Return

CHAPTER 2: RETURN

I got up early the next morning out of habit. My eyes opened to the watery sunlight that was the best you got at this time of year, in this part of the world. I tried to shut them tightly and press myself back to sleep, but these things are never as easy as one wants them to be.

Grumbling indecently I gave up and staggered into my bathroom to splash water on my face, then continued my stumble down the stairs for breakfast. The smell of coffee surrounded me before I reached the kitchen, and I could hear Chris whistling a merry tune. I was smiling by the time I sat down.

"Morning, Natalie," Chris sang. "Welcome to winter break. Are you excited?" He poured coffee into a mug for me and handed it straight over.

"I am, actually," my voice was still muggy with sleep. I yawned and took a sip of coffee. _Ugh! Black._ But it woke me up a notch. I staggered to the fridge to find the milk.

"Ahemhem," Chris nodded toward the table. I had to laugh. He'd already set everything up; milk, sugar, spoons- everything a coffee addict would need.

"Love you," I crinkled my eyes joyfully at him. "Anyway, yes. Five weeks off. It's going to be very unwell spent," I grinned again as I fixed my coffee.

"That's how it's supposed to be," he replied with his charming sly smile. "Going shopping with Steve today… wanna come?"

"I can't, I'm going to La Push."

"To see young Jacob?" His smile turned knowing.

"Ugh," I let my face fall into the hand that was not full of dangerously hot coffee. "Is it that obvious?"

"Yes, it's also obvious that he likes you, too."

"No, Chris. He's still got it for Bella," I felt my lips turn down. I didn't hold it against her, really. I just wished Jake would… I don't know what I wished.

"I thought he hadn't seen her in months?"

I sighed. "He hasn't, but he's refusing to let go. Which," I gestured uselessly with my free hand. "There's really nothing wrong with. He's not pining after her, or anything… at least he doesn't seem to be. He rarely mentions her anymore, but you can see it when he does- he thinks he's in love with her." _Ugh._

"Well. I think maybe that has changed," Chris finished his coffee, placing the mug carefully in the dishwasher then disappeared into his room to get ready for his trip.

I poured myself a warm-up and mused about what Chris had said. Could it be true? Was Jake getting over Bella? Could he be noticing me, finally? I was halfway through my third cup of coffee when I finally decided french toast was the best possible choice for breakfast.

By the time I'd eaten and gotten cleaned up it was after ten. I grabbed Chris's keys and the directions sitting underneath them and whisked myself out to the car. La Push was ten miles away, right off the freeway. It wouldn't take longer than 15 minutes to get there. I hummed along with the radio to pass the time and was parking in front of Jacob's house before too long.

He strode out of his house, down the steps, and to the car in what looked like three strides. He was grinning from ear to ear.

"You came, I can't believe it," he pulled me from the car and swung me up and around.

I shrieked playfully, feeling my cheeks burn at his close contact. "Don't be silly!" I exclaimed.

He set me down gently, letting his fingers linger momentarily around my waist. I thought about what Chris said that morning and felt a flutter of butterflies spring around in my stomach.

"Come see my garage," I loved his voice, soft and husky. He sounded like he'd been smoking for years, but as far as I knew, he'd never even started.

His "garage" was more of a makeshift shelter- lean-to construction made from two plastic sheds that were pushed together. As shabby as it looked, it was dry and warm. I looked around curiously. The rabbit took up half the garage easily; it was up on cement blocks and still gutted, but according to Jacob, he had all the parts he needed. He showed me around the whole shed then took me to the back where he had a small desk set up. There were car magazines scattered over the surface. Some of them were open with things circled and others crossed out. He motioned for me to take a seat in one of the two chairs.

"So," he started. "What kind of car were you thinking about buying?"

"A small one. Good gas mileage, but one that can take it if I need to drive a dirt road."

"Hmm…" he thought about it, hand to his mouth, fingers tapping his lips. "Jeep," He decided. "Wrangler."

"I can't afford a Wrangler," I told him.

"How much do you have?"

"Five thousand."

"Easily done!" He said as he grabbed at one of the magazines buried on his desk.

"With five thousand we could get an older model that needs some work and I could teach you how to work on it."

"That would be fantastic," I told him. There was no way to describe how much I would absolutely adore that.

We spent the rest of the day looking over prospects and compiling a list of the most promising. It was one of the best days I'd had in my new home. I felt myself relaxing, falling into a rhythm. It was just so easy to do with Jacob.

After that I was at the rez as often as possible. We found a white '95 Wrangler YJ that was in my price range and had nearly nothing wrong with it mechanically. Some of the paint was gone, and some rust was seeping in around the edges, but to me, it was still a beautiful machine.

Jacob came with me when I went to test-drive it, walking me through what to look for. He seemed decently impressed with its condition, so I bought it and brought it straight back to the rez. As soon as it was in the garage he pulled me under it and started pointing things out to me. He checked the oil stick, decided it was too dirty and immediately showed me how to change the oil. Apparently he'd stock piled the garage with Jeep stuff as a surprise welcome for my new car.

That first oil change was only the beginning. Jake made good on his promise to teach me the ins and outs of the Jeep over the next few weeks. All the extra time we spent together quickly turned him into my best friend. I still spent time with my other friends, but when I did I only thought of him. His gangly stride, his long fingered hands that were capable of the smallest, most precise task, his laugh, deep and husky- it sounded like it came from the earth itself. Mostly I thought of his smile. It brightened my day to think I had done something to win it from him. The fact that he smiled at almost anything didn't deter me. When he bestowed them on me, it still made me feel special, and I still strived to win them.

I hadn't thought of Alice's parting words in months, but that was about to change. It was Saturday, school was back in session, and I had to cancel my plans with Jake to catch up on my homework. I worked on it all day, trying and failing, to not think about where I _would_ be had I not fallen behind so early in the semester. I only jokingly blamed it on Jake, but it was half true. My thoughts were consumed with him.

I wouldn't tell him if my life depended on it, but at some point while we were tinkering under the hood of the Jeep I'd fallen for him.

Those thoughts would take me down a long dark road, so I avoided them when I could. The truth of the matter was that I didn't have the time or the energy for anything more than a crush. I was barely keeping up with my school work as it was!

The phone rang as I was halfway through finding initial research sources for a paper. At some point while I was working the sun had fallen below the horizon. I looked out the window for a moment, distracted. When had _that_ happened? I blinked blearily in the darkness before I remembered my phone was ringing. I ran to it, hoping beyond hope that it was Jacob.

"Hello?"

"Natalie," it was undoubtedly Jake's voice, but he never used my full name.

"Jacob," I responded in kind.

"She came back," he was gleeful.

"Who came back?" I asked, but I already knew.

"Bella," my heart plummeted, anyway.

"Oh," I said lamely._ Pick it up, girl._ "Oh! You mean she came down to the rez?" I didn't have to hide my surprise, but I _did_ have to struggle with my disappointment. I tried not to let it show, but I was sure I was woefully unsuccessful.

"Yea, she brought these two old beat up bikes and she says she wants me to help her build them."

"Wow, Jake," I was losing control of my fake enthusiasm. "That's really cool. Did she stay?"

"Yea! She was here all day! It was so great! She's coming back tomorrow and we're shopping for parts. You should come over when I start rebuilding. You'd seriously love this," I couldn't help a small smile as he finished. He was completely sincere about my coming over to help him, and I _would _love that.

"Sure, sure," I said copying his and Billy's phrase. "Just let me know when."

I knew he picked up on my easy use of his words, and I could hear the smile in his voice as he responded.

"This is gonna be great, Tal," he hung up. I followed suit and slammed my head none too gently into the counter.

Not so great for me, but it made him happy, and I couldn't begrudge that. He deserved everything in the world that made him happiest. If it wasn't me, then so be it. I was still telling myself those words when I went to bed that night, but it didn't keep the tears from coming, and it didn't stop them once they started.


	3. Illness

CHAPTER 3: ILLNESS

"Tal," he never said "hello" anymore.

"Jake," I responded mildly.

"Come over. We're rebuilding right now." _We_. Bella was there. I took a deep breath. I couldn't avoid this forever.

"Right now?" I asked glancing at the clock. 4 pm. It was getting late, but it wasn't as if I would be able to say no. I considered briefly forcing out a negative from spite.

"Yea, are you still at school?" He knew I wasn't, but the sound of his possible disappointment made my decision for me.

"Okay, okay, I'm coming. Be there in twenty," I hung up and grabbed my keys. I turned the key in the ignition and grinned impishly at the sound of the engine starting up and growling at an idle. I loved it. I loved my Jeep. I'd named her Letta, though to this day I'm not sure why, maybe because she reminded me of a big, blonde, tough girl. It didn't matter; it was hard to worry about anything once I hit the road. Driving always made me feel better. The thought of the pain I knew I would feel when I walked into the shed and saw Bella in my place was wiped away with every passing mile.

I pulled up next to a classic Chevy that had seen better days. I guessed that it was Bella's from Jake's description of his father's old truck. Billy waved from the window. I waved back, but moved past the house straight for the garage. There's no way they'd tell Billy about a couple of motorcycles.

My guess was correct. The door was slightly ajar and I could hear Jacob's husky laughter drifting in the breeze. I steeled myself then pushed it open. My first sight was of Jacob leaning over a mound of metal. My second was of a tiny, pale figure slouched in the driver's seat of the Rabbit.

It was Bella. She looked terrible. Her skin was sallow, she'd lost weight, which she couldn't afford to do in the first place, and she had very, very dark circles under each eye. She was smiling at Jake but it looked like it pained her. I saw in that one glance three things.

First, this girl was hurt. Terribly hurt. Her shoulders hunched around her chest as though she were trying to keep from falling to pieces and drifting to the floor. Her gaze was mostly inward, but almost always down, and just from her posture you could see it took all of her energy just to be awake. Second, she had no romantic feelings for Jake. None. Her lack of interest was apparent in glassy dead stares, and the forced smiles she shot in his direction. Any time he shifted toward her she would shy away and close her arms over her chest. Third, she was in desperate need of help, someone to get her through her pain. Alice's words came back to me at once, "she will need you," so I see.

My mind was made up, but my heart broke for Jacob. He was in for some serious heartache.

"Hey guys!" I called in brightly. To my surprise it didn't sound false.

"Tal!" Jacob cried. "I didn't hear you pull in!" He got up to hug me, noting that my clothes were shop proper he didn't bother trying to keep the motor grease off me. "Tal," he turned me toward the smaller girl, gesturing as he did. She came to her feet slowly and carefully. "This is Bella."

"We've met," I said but held out my hand, anyway. "Hi, Bella."

"Hi," She was shy. Very shy. My smile became more genuine and I shook her hand. She looked up in surprise. "You're so warm!"

I was equally surprised by the reaction. "Am I? Huh."

"Well let's get to it!" Jake dropped back to the floor beside the dismantled bike. He began pointing to parts and describing what they were and where they went. I listened carefully trying to absorb as much as I could. Bella watched us work becoming visibly more relaxed as time passed.

About an hour into the evening Bella spoke up.

"Your full name is Natalie?" she asked.

I looked up at her briefly before answering. She was leaned forward eyes still on our hands, watching us wipe grease from each part before carefully setting it aside. "Yea, no one ever calls me that unless I'm in trouble though," I grinned at her.

"Are you Quileute?"

"Half. My father was as Irish as they come," I shook my head. "I don't know how my parents found each other. They just seem like they would be such a weird pair. He's so loud and frenetic, while mom is so reserved."

"Oh…" she fell quiet and I returned my attention to my hands. "So, your mother is Quileute," she spoke up again.

"Yep," I continued cleaning a tiny part Jake had handed to me. "Her maiden name is Ateara."

"Really?" She perked up. "You're Quil's cousin?"

"Second cousin." I corrected. "Our parents are cousins."

"Oh…" she said again. "Why doesn't your mother live here?"

I stopped what I was doing to look at her, again. Jake stopped what_ he_ was doing to look at me with the same frank curiosity that had endeared him to me.

"You know, I've always wondered that…" he said.

"Well that makes three of us then," I flashed a small smile. "She never talks about it."

"Did you ask her?" Jake clarified.

"When I was a kid I used to ask all the time. You remember I would come visit Chris in the summers?" He nodded. "Well, you'll probably also remember that I never wanted to leave. I would go home demanding we move back here. At some point in high school she stopped allowing me to come at all, and wouldn't tell me why. Eventually I stopped asking."

No one spoke for a few moments, but now my brain was on that track, and worried at it like a dog on a bone.

"I just don't understand it," I was scrubbing at the part in my hands a little too fiercely. "You know," I stopped and looked over at Jacob. He felt my eyes on his back and turned to meet my gaze. "She tried to get me to stay in Memphis right before I left?"

"She tried to keep you from coming?" His brow drew down in his puzzlement. I tried to ignore the flip my stomach made when he made that face. It was adorable.

"Yea, actually, she tried to get me to promise I wouldn't come _here_," I pointed down.

"To La Push?" Bella was incredulous.

"My sentiments exactly, my dear," I told her.

"I wonder why…" she was off in thought again. Some color had come to her cheeks and some of the hunch was gone from her shoulders. I thought of Alice again and made a silent promise to do as she asked.

We finished the bikes in a few weeks with all three of us working on them, because indeed, by the end, even Bella was fitting some things together. The circles were disappearing from her eyes. She still looked haunted, and gaunt, but it was better than the ghost that sat before me all those weeks ago.

It was time to teach her how to ride. Jacob and I loaded the bikes into the bed of her truck then the three of us squeezed into the cab to go to our chosen place for lessons. Once there, we unloaded them then walked Bella through the basics again.

She immediately lost control of her bike and slid into a tree. I watched astounded as Jacob, naked to the waist, carried her back to the truck with his shirt pressed against her head. Good_ god_ he was gorgeous. I caught myself staring and turned away. Bella caught it too and I saw a light smile play across her lips before I turned around. Bella and I would definitely need some girl time.

We sped her home to change then rushed her to the hospital. Six stitches later, (how did she manage six?), she was perfectly fine, and we dropped her back at home with her truck. When Jacob and I got back to the garage we collapsed on the couch we'd picked up at the local thrift store and squeezed in next to his Rabbit. I pressed myself into his side curling there for a moment in bliss. His arm came around me easily.

"You were not kidding," I said.

"Nope." He knew I was talking about her clumsiness. We laughed until our stomachs hurt.

"We'll have to do it again very soon," I snickered again.

"Definitely," he replied with an answering chortle.

I got up from the couch and leaned in to kiss him on the forehead. I knew I shouldn't, but I let it linger for a second before pulling away and walking out the door. I didn't look back to see his reaction. He probably didn't notice anyway.

The three of us continued this way for another few weeks. Bella showed immense progress on her bike. She rarely ended up in the hospital any more. I watched Jacob become more and more infatuated with her, and I watched her deny his affections again and again. He never seemed to mind, he never said anything to me about it, but I wondered if that was because he knew of my feelings for him. Bella said she didn't know how he felt, but I wasn't so sure.

Friday came again, Bella called to invite me to a movie. Surprisingly, I already had plans for dinner with friends from school, so I declined. I didn't see either of my friends that night, and I didn't think about them again until Sunday afternoon. It occurred to me while I doodled on my homework that neither of them had called me. I picked up my phone and navigated to my favorites, where Jacob's number was listed first.

It rang for so long I was lifting the phone away from my ear to end the call when I heard a click and struggled "hello?"

"Jacob?" I said alarmed. He sounded like he could barely talk.

"Hey, Tal."

"Are you okay? What happened?" I was already looking for my keys as I asked.

"I'm not feeling so hot…"

"No, I can hear that. You sound terrible. What do you need? I'll bring it for you."

"No!" He exclaimed, a little too quickly. He cleared his throat and tried again. "No, I don't need anything. Look Tal, I'm really ill and I don't want you to… catch it."

"Jacob, I'm not…" He cut me off before I could tell him how unconcerned I was for myself.

"No, Natalie. Don't come here. I'll call you as soon as I'm able, though. I promise you," his voice was too intense. It made me even more worried about him. I'd never heard him sound like that before.

"I don't understand, are you…?" I didn't finish the question because I wasn't sure what I wanted to say. The way he talked made it sound like he was terminal.

"Its okay, Tal," I knew he was reverting to my nickname to make me more complacent. "I'll be okay, but hey,"

"Yea?"

"You've been down here a lot lately and I'm going to be honest, I'm a little worried you might have…" he paused presumably to find the right word. "Caught it, what I have…"

"Well what do you have? I feel fine."

"Good, good. But if you start feeling strange, weird in any way, you call me immediately." It was an order.

"Sure, sure…" My brow was drawn down fiercely.

"If I'm not here, tell my dad exactly what you're feeling. He knows to expect your call. Promise me you'll call."

"I promise, Jake," I didn't like the way he said Billy _knows_ to _expect_ my call. Like it was already a done deal.

"Be safe, Natalie. I'll call when I can," he hung up before I could respond.

I stared at my phone feeling extremely perturbed. What could that have possibly meant? If I got sick, why would it be so important that I call down to the rez? If I was that bad, wouldn't I go straight to the hospital? I knew I would take his advice. He wouldn't ask it of me if it weren't vitally important. I tried to shake my worry off and fought the urge to go to La Push. I would have to wait for Jake to call me back. My stomach plummeted. _But how long would that take?_


	4. Maiden Name

CHAPTER 4: MAIDEN NAME

Bella called me the following Wednesday. She sounded desperate, like she was falling apart again. I knew she was trying to hide it from me, but it was obvious in her voice anyway. I drove through the rain and slick streets to her house in Forks. Her father opened the door when I knocked. His face relaxed into an easy smile when he saw me.

"Tal," he breathed and took a step back to let me in. "I'm glad you came. She's through there." He pointed into the living room

I found her huddled on the couch staring listlessly at the TV. Her shoulders pulled up around her ears and her arms were crossed over her chest, hands in tight fists. I was struck again by how small she was.

"Hey, Bells!" I called as brightly as I could and walked over to her. She looked up at me blankly for a moment. It took just a little too long for her to realize who I was. "Let's go for a drive, hmm?" I pulled her up and forced her out the door, grabbing her jacket and purse on the way. She seemed to wake herself up enough to remember what was happening and got herself situated in Letta with no more help from me.

"Where are we going?" She said amiably enough, but she sounded exhausted.

"Along the coast."

"Where the cliffs are?" Her eyes brightened perceptibly.

"Sure, Bells, we can go see the cliffs."

We didn't talk much on the drive, but we didn't need to. The company was soothing enough. I watched her, when I could, in between the mind-boggling turns. Her face was loosening more with every mile we put between Forks and us.

It took about 20 minutes to get to our spot, but once we did we both jumped out gladly. The wind whipped our hair violently about our faces and rain washed lightly down our backs. I felt my body relaxing as well. This place was too breath takingly beautiful not to give a person a little perspective.

We sat on the cliff, legs dangling off the side, leaning gently against one another for the simple pleasure of contact with another human.

"You're really warm," she commented. "Warmer than normal. Are you feeling alright?"

A shiver went down my spine as I thought back to Jacob's last words to me.

"Yea. Perfect," I felt my own forehead. Seemed fine to me. We fell silent again, watching the waves break below us.

"Have you heard from Jake?" she asked suddenly.

I looked over at her in surprise. Her face was tightening again. "Not since Sunday," I answered. "I'm getting really worried about him."

"Me too," she sighed. "I think I'm going to go down to the rez next week if I haven't heard from him by Saturday."

"Call me before you do. I'll go with you."

She nodded and smiled sadly. "Thanks, Tal. I needed this," she motioned around.

"Me too," because I realized, as I spoke, that I felt loose and calm for the first time since my last conversation with Jake.

Thursday came with no further incident. The last couple days were dreary with worry about Jacob, and consumed with doubts on Bella's well being. It was with these thoughts that I noticed I seemed to be having a fairly serious allergic reaction. My reflection in the mirror was one I didn't recognize. I was pale with blotches on my face, and scarlet eyes. I prodded at my skin, testing it to see if I was getting hives, or if there was any discomfort.

I wasn't itchy at all, just looked an absolute fright. It was too late in the evening to do anything about it, so I popped 50 milligrams of Benadryl to calm it down and went to bed satisfied.

Benadryl always makes me groggy and disoriented, so when I woke feeling like a grizzly bear, I wasn't terribly surprised. As I moved around my room I stubbed a toe on my bedside table. This unleashed a fury within me. I screamed at the table uselessly and told it to do horrible things to its mother. Apparently I was extremely irritable today. More than my usual Benadryl hangover allowed.

My attempts to shake it off failed spectacularly, so I went downstairs with the mood clinging around me. Chris picked up on it as soon as he saw me and hightailed it off to whatever fancy was on his books for the day. I grumbled as I opened the fridge and pushed left overs around discontentedly.

A ding sounded from my cell phone. I told it to go shove itself up somewhere dark, and then relented and checked the message. With the blessed timing of a god, the professor of my only class for the day emailed to respectfully inform us that class would be canceled due to a serious bout of the stomach flu. I've never cheered for someone else's discomfort before.

After the initial rush of pleasure I didn't know what to do with myself, I was pacing back and forth across the kitchen trying to decide whether or not I should go back to sleep. I was hungry, but I didn't want to eat anything. Perhaps a hot coffee would soothe my nerves. I brewed a pot, poured some into my favorite mug, added a dash of cream, and a half spoon of sugar, then took a sip.

My stomach turned and I had to clench my jaw to keep from vomiting. I spit what was in my mouth out into the sink, disgusted. Clearly, coffee would not be happening this morning. I resumed my pacing. The taste of the coffee was still in my mouth and it was making my stomach roil, so I bolted back up stairs to the bathroom, thinking maybe brushing my teeth would help get the foul stuff out of my mouth. I pulled my toothbrush from its cup and stuck it in my mouth without even bothering with toothpaste. I just needed to scrub my mouth clean. I started brushing my tongue vigorously, then moved to my teeth. As I did so, I made the mistake of taking a quick glance in the mirror.

Bad idea.

I started to freak out. My eyes were worse than they were before I went to bed; they were completely red. Not a speck of white could be seen where it should be. My skin was pale as a sheet, I'd never seen myself that shade before. That's when I noticed my hands shaking. It was uncontrollable. I couldn't hold on to my toothbrush anymore, I watched numbly as it fell into the sink and rolled towards the drain.

My knees went weak, or maybe they were shaking too hard to support me, either way, I fell to the tile and crawled back to my bedroom. I was really wishing Chris hadn't left in such a hurry, but I'd tossed my phone onto my bed when I'd run upstairs. I could call if I really needed to. I hoped that I wouldn't.

It seemed like it took a lifetime before I finally made it to my bed and fell upon the mattress. I lay there looking up at the ceiling for what felt like hours, but was almost definitely only minutes and then I remembered nothing more.

I slept clear through to the next morning. I woke up quite suddenly and fully alert at around 8 am. I took mental stock of my body and was pleased to find that I felt better, at least I wasn't shaking any more, and my thoughts seemed more coherent. I decided to take a look in the mirror to get a better gauge on my condition. I had some color in my cheeks, though not much. At least I didn't look like parchment anymore. My eyes were still fully red, though. Not cool.

I remembered with distaste that I never got around to brushing my teeth properly the day before so I scrubbed at them diligently for much longer than was strictly necessary. Once I finished, I had to figure out what I needed to do next. Should I go to the hospital? That thought brought up another memory, of Jacob telling me to call him if I felt weird. A flash of panic flooded my chest.

_Now, calm down. Your eyes being red and your skin being pale don't mean you're dying._ I told myself firmly. Temperature. That would be the deciding factor. If I had all these symptoms on top of a high temp, I would think about calling Jake and Billy.

I fished a thermometer out of the cabinet while my hands began their shake from the day before. I pressed the "on" button and slipped it under my tongue. It beeped at me 15 seconds later and read a whopping 105.3 degrees.

I stared at the number. That couldn't be right. I shook it. It stayed defiantly unchanged. _Okay, second opinion._ I found Chris's old mercury thermometer in a bathroom cabinet and popped it in my mouth after a quick rinse. This would take longer. I sat on the toilet hands clasped together to disguise their quaking.

Five minutes was all I could stand to wait. I slipped it from under my tongue and squinted at the tiny lines. 104.9.

_Shit, _Jacob, I needed Jacob. He would know what to do.

I went down the small set of stairs to see if Chris was home. He was not, but there was a note on the fridge:

"Went to Seattle with Dave. Have my cell. Be back tomorrow with lots of coffee!"

It would have made me smile under normal circumstances, as it was, it only made me panic all the more. I was deathly ill, and alone. I grabbed my phone and punched Jake's number frantically. Jake answered, but I don't know why. He sounded terrible, worse than he did before, but in a different way.

"Hello?" His voice was so fragile it was barely audible.

"Jake?"

"Tal?" His voice grew stronger with alarm. I must have sounded bad.

"I think I might have whatever it is you were worried about," I started, my voice sounded hysterical, even to my own ears. "I don't know what's wrong with me…" my hands shook harder the more I talked.

"Fuck," I whispered.

Jacob sounded even more alarmed now. "Tell me everything. Are your eyes red?"

"Yes, there's no white in them at all," I was whispering again, but I couldn't get my voice to go any louder. I didn't need to worry, he heard me, though how was a mystery. "And I'm shaking so hard," I had to wedge the phone between my ear and shoulder so I could grip my hands together. I cursed again. "And I'm all white, I've never been so pale…."

Jake was absolutely quiet for a moment. "What did you say your mother's maiden name was?"

"What does that have to do with anything?" My voice came back in an explosion of rage. I heard myself yelling, but I couldn't stop it. I dropped the phone. "Fuck!" I yelled for the third time and fumbled the phone back to my ear.

"Natalie," his voice was as unsteady as my hands. "It's Ateara, isn't it?"

"Yes," I whispered. It was all I could manage.

"I'm sending someone to get you, okay? Do not leave. Do not drive. Do _not_ drive under any circumstances, okay, Tal? Do you understand me?"

I nodded and realized he couldn't see me. "Okay, Jake."

"Listen to me Tal, stay calm, okay? Do whatever it takes to stay calm. You like yoga, right?"

I nodded again as a shudder wracked through my body. I realized my mistake but couldn't rectify it.

"Do some yoga. I'll see you in just a little while. Stay calm, Sam is coming," He hung up. I stared at the phone, bemused, before I tucked it into the pocket of my pajamas.

I was still shaking like mad, so I knew anything but the simplest yoga was out of the question. The breathing exercises would probably help, anyway. I put the DVD in and lay flat on the floor. _In through the nose, and out through the nose._ I repeated in my head as I did the simple poses. My heartbeat slowed, my breathing became more regular and I started doing some of the more advanced poses just to keep myself active.

There was a knock on the door. It hadn't been 15 minutes. It had barely been 10, if even that long. I went cautiously to the door. Who could possibly be here? There was no way I could have company right now; I was in absolutely no state for that. I looked cautiously through the peephole. To my utmost shock, it _was_ Sam. He stood on my front stoop calm and serene as ever wearing only Jockey running shorts, not even a pair of shoes, and his shorts were all wet and goopy with what looked like dog slobber. I pulled the door open to let him in. He took one look at me and nodded.

"Ateara, huh?" He raised his eyebrows at me.

"Just what the fuck does everyone keep saying that to me for? What the fuck is that supposed to mean? What does my mother's _maiden name_ have to do with the fact that my brain should be fucking boiling right now? Fuck this, I need a hospital," I rummaged through the pile of papers on the hall table until I located my keys.

Sam slipped them through my fingers and pulled me into a tight hug.

"Hey, now. It's okay little one…" he rocked back and forth. To my surprise I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged back.

"Sorry," I mumbled into his chest.

"That's alright," His face was still relaxed but he was watching me closely. "Do you think you can stay calm through the drive to the rez? Or do you want to stay here?"

I looked around, at a loss. _Jacob, I need Jacob._ "No, I'll stay calm, I think."

He nodded and headed out the door towards my Jeep. I don't know if he was agreeing with me because he believed I could do it or if he just thought I would lose it if he made me stay. Either way, out he went, and I followed meekly behind. Sam went straight to the driver's side so I hopped in the passenger seat and leaned back continuing my breathing exercises as I sat there. He made it to the rez in record time, but when I looked out through the window we were not where I expected to be. We were at his house.

Sam led me into his living room where Billy and a couple of the other elders were waiting. Each one of them looked at me briefly and nodded. A shudder wracked my body.

"Out!" I turned in shock at the voice to find Sam's fiancé in the doorway to the kitchen pointing toward the front door. Her face was set and determined. The clawed scar pulling down one side of her mouth made the expression altogether forbidding.

The elders filed passed me indicating that I should follow, so I did. What else was I supposed to do?

"Where's Jake?" I asked once we were outside. Sam looked at me sadly and kept walking toward a leg of the forest that jutted out towards his house. Again, I followed him, not knowing what else to do.

"He's indisposed at the moment, but you'll see him soon," he put a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Promise."

I was shuddering so hard I was having difficulty walking. Sam noticed my trouble and kept a hand hovering near me in case I fell. We got to a clearing just a few meters into the forest. It was obviously used as a meeting place. Benches surrounded the perimeter and a well-used fire pit sat in the center. Everyone took a seat with Sam and I in the focal point.

"Is anyone going to tell me what's going on?" I was getting angrier by the minute and struggling to keep the cap on.

"Are you familiar with our tribe stories?" Billy asked calmly. "About the origins of our people?"

"Yes," I answered at once. Glad to be finally getting some sort of response, even if it wasn't the one I wanted.

"What ones do you know?" he continued.

"That we're descended from wolves, that our people merged spirits with the wolves to protect the tribe from the cold ones… so? What does that have to do with anything?" My hold on my temper was beginning to slip.

"It has everything to do with everything. These symptoms you're showing are the same that our forebears, and their forebears showed, when they came of age," It was Harry speaking this time, watching me intently.

"Came of age for what?" I asked, completely lost. This was not the conversation I expected to be having.

"To protect our people," Billy said simply.

"Protect our…" I arched my eyebrows incredulously. I looked from one solemn face to another. "You believe those old stories?" Hysteria was creeping back into my voice. This couldn't be real. It was absolutely absurd… except for Alice Cullen's stillness, her pale skin, and black eyes. Except for her surreal beauty.

I gasped. Alice Cullen was a vampire.

And if she was a vampire… I was a werewolf.

"Oh my god…" I let out under my breath.

"We'll leave you with Sam now." The elders got up one by one and left. I sat on the bench reeling, trying to absorb the impossible. Vampires were real. Werewolves were real.

My head hurt. My skin hurt. My bones hurt. _Uh oh…_

"Sam?!" _What's happening to me?_ I wanted to ask the question out loud, but the only sound that came out was a piercing scream. My body was on fire. I could feel the flames licking beneath my skin. Surely my flesh was bubbling. I screamed again and fell to the ground.

"Let it go, Natalie. It'll be easier that way," He took a few steps back falling into a crouch. I suddenly understood what was happening; I was about to shift for the first time. The knowledge_ did_ actually make it easier. I relaxed my body and let the shudders take over. I could hear myself whimpering but only in a detached sort of way.

I must have blacked out for a second because the next thing I knew an impossibly huge black wolf was snuffling in my neck and I could hear howling in my head. I shook it to clear the noise and discovered I had large pointy ears that flopped into my eyes when I did so.

"_Natalie?"_ The voice calling my name was frantic. _"Answer me, are you okay?"_

"_Let her come to, Jacob," _the second voice was Sam's.

"_I'm coming, Tal. Stay with Sam,"_ I could see in my head where Jacob was running. I could feel his urgency to be with me. I reciprocated fully; I needed to be where he was. I got to my feet.

"_Jake! I order you to keep your post!"_ Sam's voice took on a weird two-dimensional aspect. Jacob had no choice but to obey. I heard Jake's return whimper in my head, and it broke my heart, but Sam was right. I could hear his reasons float over my consciousness. Jacob needed to stay where he was- one weak point in our rounds and that filthy bloodsucker would slip right through.

I shook my head again. _Where did that come from?_

"_What's going on?"_ I looked around. I looked at myself as far as I could, but had trouble understanding what I was seeing. Instead, I looked at myself through Sam's helpful gaze in my mind and saw a lean, long legged, snowy colored, monster of a wolf. I also registered Jake's relief at my coherent thought.

"_You've phased, you're a wolf- a proud protector of the Quileute people. Are you steady?"_

I snorted at his small diatribe, he sounded like a commercial for Capitol One, but I thought about his question carefully, none-the-less, before I answered. _Was_ I feeling alright? I decided, that yes, I was feeling phenomenal. In fact, I'd never felt better. I wanted to run. Sam saw the direction of my thoughts and curbed it immediately. I bared my throat to him in acknowledgement.

I had too much to learn and catch up on before I could think about the fun factors. We walked through the woods side by side. He passed everything he knew to me with the touch of his thoughts. The most important thing he passed was the hunt for the vampire that had been killing hikers. The entire pack hated vampires with a passion I'd never experienced before. I understood the need to kill the one that was encroaching on our territory, but I also thought of Alice's tinkling laugh, and the way her eyes would scrunch up in delight at a joke, and I knew not all vampires were bad. I buried that thought before it could fully form, worried that the pack wouldn't accept me if they found out. Eventually, I was sure, I would tell them, but maybe not tonight.

Sam and I got back to his house just after midnight. Emily was up waiting for us.

"Sorry, I yelled at you earlier," she said to me as she set up the spare bedroom for me to sleep in. "I could tell you were about to phase any second and I didn't want to buy a new couch." Her good eye crinkled at the corner. I really liked Emily.

I smiled back at her. "Aren't you worried I'll phase in the middle of the night and destroy your guest room?"

She laughed. "I'm less worried about the bed," she shrugged. "It's not as new. Besides, from what I understand it will be a lot easier to know when you're about to shift, now. So just do me the favor of trying to make it out the door before you do." She showed me the door that led from the bedroom to the side yard.

"After Paul had to stay when he first phased, I turned this room into the guestroom, just because of the door." She laughed again. It was clear that she bore no ill will toward her responsibilities as pack wife. I got the feeling she wouldn't give it up for anything in the world. "Anyway, sleep well. Sam and I are just across the hall if you need anything."


	5. Wolf Pack

CHAPTER 5: WOLF PACK

I didn't. I slept better than I had in weeks and woke refreshed. The day was filled with the same things as the night before. Sam coached me over and over on how to control myself. I found out that day that I would be sequestered at his house until he was sure I was safe to be in public. I had to send my professors a false doctor's note claiming to have mono so that I could send in my homework via email.

Chris came to the rez with my mother in tow. He had, apparently, known all along that this was a possibility, which was why he fought for me to stay with him so forcefully instead of allowing me to move into the dorms. He thought it would be safer for me to go through this with him than with some strange roommate. He was right, of course.

I thought my mom would be furious, but she was only resigned.

"Did you know?" I asked her. We'd taken a walk along the coast of First Beach, stopping here and there when a pretty rock or shell would catch our attention.

"Did I know, what? That the tribe were wolves?" Her back was turned to me. She was throwing her pretty rocks out toward the heaving waves, watching them disappear beneath the tumultuous water. "Yeah, I knew."

The story she told me had quite clearly frightened the wits from her. As she told it she shook and stammered, stopping and starting on several occasions before it finally flowed from her in a whoosh. It was the story of Emily and Sam. I already knew this story, of course. I had listened to it directly from Sam's mind. How he had turned, alone and frightened, with no one to explain to him what had happened. How he had pulled away from everyone, including his girlfriend, Leah, to hide what he had become. Sam disappeared for weeks before he was calm enough to become human again and find the elders. They retold the tribes histories, explained what had happened, and helped coach him through his new life.

It wasn't easy. Even after he understood his new purpose, he wasn't able to share it with his partner. Sam and Leah were trying to work it out, anyway, because they loved each other and wanted a future. Then Leah had a cousin come visit from up north. Sam saw this cousin and never looked away again.

The three of them were devastated, most especially Leah. Even through all of this, Sam couldn't tell her why he was leaving her, why he preferred her cousin. All Sam wanted was to forget Emily, to go back to his normal life with Leah. They tried to stay away from each other but it was impossible, because imprinting is compulsive. The three of them argued frequently. During one such argument, early in Sam's transition days, he lost control and Emily was the only one in the room. Her face would bear those scars for the rest of her life, and Sam would have to live with what he'd done for the rest of his.

During this time, my mother and I had been visiting Chris and we had been down at the rez when it happened. While I was at the beach with friends my mother had gone to see Emily. While no one was sure why the cousins had a falling out, everyone knew about it.

The door had been open as she approached the house. Sam and Emily were yelling at each other. Emily had been crying. Just as my mother was reaching up to knock on the door frame, Sam exploded into a tuft of fur. One gigantic claw swiped Emily across the face, knocking her out. The wolf had turned, snarling at my mother who fell backwards away from the door, scrambling to get away. Instead of attacking Sam had been able to regain control of himself and flee. My mother had taken Emily to the hospital and stayed with her until the elders showed up to explain themselves.

As soon as they were finished my mother packed us up and changed our flights. I had been 16, just on the cusp of adulthood. The elders had explained, that anyone approaching their 20th year could become a protector, and she was not willing to allow that to happen to me or risk me becoming like Emily.

"I didn't want this life for you," she slumped to the ground, and dug her feet into the sand. "It's too dangerous."

"We're a lot more careful now," I explained. "We take precautions. They didn't know how dangerous transitions were when Sam was the only wolf."

My mother hiccuped a quiet sob and pulled me down to the sand beside her. "That doesn't make this easier for me, honey."

I wrapped my arms around her and gazed out over the water. We sat like that, holding each other until the cold made my mother uncomfortable. As we began the slow walk back toward Sam's house, she paused, pulling me to stop beside her.

"I just want you to be happy," she finished. "This isn't going to be easy."

"I know, Momma."

Part of the pack's new precautions required me to stay isolated not only from other people, but my fellow wolves as well. When Jared and Paul had first turned, fights had been numerous. While part of the wolf package was quick healing, it still wasn't comfortable. To avoid this, new wolves were required to wait until they could control transitions before joining.

While all this was perfectly logical, it meant I wasn't able to see Jacob. As the week progressed my desire to see him grew stronger every day. It was becoming a feat in itself to keep from running out the door in his direction. I was able to make mental contact in my wolf form, which helped, but it wasn't enough, and I knew it wasn't enough for him either.

Finally it was my last day of isolation. I was so excited I caught myself shaking hard enough to phase unintentionally, and only reigned myself in with great difficulty. I couldn't wait to hunt with the pack; nothing would ruin this day. I got dressed carefully that morning. I pulled on a light, airy sundress with blue flowers printed on it over my head. It was something I would never have worn before, but now I needed to dress with the thought of shifting in mind. I wore nothing underneath, the easier to pull it over my head and be ready.

The remaining members of the pack that weren't on patrol would meet up in the clearing where we would all shift and run the perimeter together. Jacob wouldn't be there. He was following a trail to the north just outside our territory. I would see him before noon though, so I couldn't complain. I sat on the bed fidgeting; I was too queasy with excitement to eat or drink anything, so I just sat, and waited.

My clock struck 6 am. I jumped to my feet and strode out the door. I was still amazed at how much smoother my gait had become, and at the strength in my body as it moved gracefully across the grass toward the forest. I reveled in it, but slowed my walk as much as I could as I entered the trees. I wanted to savor the experience. My stomach was flipping back and forth and I was shaking with excitement all over again. I arrived at the clearing. _Whew._ I took a deep breath and held it then stepped through the last ring of trees.

The boys were all there already. Heads down, hands clasped before them. Jared, Paul, Sam, and Embry. The only one not hiding a grin was Sam; he stood in the center solemn as ever. I didn't try to hide my smile. No way was I going to be serious on this day.

Sam lifted his head to meet my eyes. I walked forward until I stood in front of him and fell to my knees lifting my chin as I did to expose my throat. He stared down at me for a full minute. I didn't flinch. Finally he nodded and turned his back to me. This was his signal to the others to follow suit, so I could strip in peace. I jumped up, ripped my dress over my head and pulled the heat out from the center of my body until I fell forward into my wolf skin.

"_Woo!" _I yelled at the boys and took off. Sam over took me and led the way to the perimeter. We were yipping and howling the whole way around. Even Sam joined in occasionally when our joy overwhelmed him. I quickly discovered I was faster than all of them, but held back, I knew I would have plenty of time for a real run soon enough. Jacob was with us in our thoughts as we ran. He shared in our joy and promised a celebration as soon as his shift was over.

We were back in the clearing by 9am, all of us breathing heavily. I waited until the boys had their backs turned before I quickly shifted and threw my dress back over my head. I was pulling it straight when I heard Jacob arrive. He stopped outside the clearing to shift. I heard him move smoothly from wolf to man and pull his shorts up. He was walking into the clearing, but he was moving so slowly I wondered if something was wrong. I finished pulling my dress straight and turned around.

He was standing completely still at the edge of the trees staring at me. I met his eyes and held. Everything else disappeared. There was nothing in this world but me and Jacob. His face was relaxed into an expression of wonder, I'm sure mine registered the same way. It felt like steel cords were drawing us inevitably together, neither of us could turn away. Not even had we wanted to. There was nothing in the world but this moment. I took a step toward him hand upraised. He closed the distance in three long strides, looking down at me intently. I lifted my hand to his face and gently caressed his cheek.

"Tal," he whispered.

I could feel my breathing hitch, but I couldn't regain control.

"Jake…" I snaked my arms around his neck and pulled his head down toward mine. At the same time his arms came around my waist and lifted me off the ground into a tight embrace.

I didn't care who was watching. I kissed him with everything I had. My lips pressed forcefully against his, and to my great pleasure his pressed just as forcefully back. I don't know how long we stayed there entwined. We parted to find ourselves alone in the clearing. The wolves had melted away into the surrounding trees.

We didn't hurry back to the others. It didn't matter anymore, we had all the time in the world.


End file.
